Everyone thinks their baby or kitten could be a model

ALL owners of babies or kittens are convinced they would be perfect for lucrative advertising work.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that every parent or cat owner is convinced they are raising a potential gold mine.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Billions of people have considered taking a picture of their kid or kitten and sending it to whichever scary multinational company makes its food.

“It’s best not to bother as you are deluding yourself. It looks like all the others.”

Mother Donna Sheridan said: “I thought my eight-month old son was the cutest baby in the world.

“Turns out he’s just the cutest baby in my house.”

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Downton Abbey to get a wormhole

A HOLE in the space-time continuum is to allow the makers of Downton Abbey to introduce product placement.

Lord Robert Crawley will be seen accidentally blasting a rift in the fabric of the universe while on a particularly intense grouse shoot.

Contemporary products like Evian water, Jaffa Cakes, Toilet Duck and anything else producers can get a sponsorship deal for will fall through the hole.

Writer Roy Hobbs said: “Next week a pallet of Dairylea Lunchables falls out of the swirling vortex in the woods.

“They are served at a dinner and everyone agrees they are a most novel delight.”

He added: “I realise it’s an expensive show to make but I’m not looking forward to having Edna the maid run over by a Ford Ka.”