Female MPs overlooked for promotion when they pose for GQ

WOMEN MPs who get all dolled-up and pose for men’s magazines are not taken seriously, experts have claimed.

The Institute for Studies found that female politicians who like to think they are sex symbols and spend their constituents’ valuable time looking sultry tend not to make the shortlist for parliamentary under-secretary at the department for work and pensions.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “We spoke to a dozen cabinet ministers and they all said they wanted someone who could do the job competently and was politically astute rather than someone who would be spending much of the day being photographed holding a lollipop.

“They want someone who gives good Newsnight as opposed to someone whose inbox is full of questions from Zoo magazine about the strangest hole in which they have had sexual intercourse.”

The study was conducted after seven-out-of-ten Tory MP Louise Mensch told GQ: “What do I have to do to get promoted over here? Do I need to straddle this chair and make you think I would blow you?

“Every time there is a raft of PPS promotions and my name is not on them, I have to sit down and think, ‘should I be doing Playboy? Is that it?’.”

Brubaker added: “Government needs a diversity of talents. But does that include a politician who thinks the best way to propel herself into the ministerial ranks is to look sexually available in a glossy magazine for middle class self-abusers? Who knows?

“That said, all the cabinet ministers we spoke to did express an interest in having sex with Louise Mensch. Theresa May offered us money.”



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The net closes in on Prince Philip

PRINCE Philip has begun a damage limitation exercise after human remains were discovered at Sandringham.

The Prince is understood to be co-operating with Norfolk police while denying any knowledge of the incident and suggesting they might want to talk to some Chinese gangsters that he has never met.

A royal insider said: “Shortly before the start of the Princess Diana inquest I was staying at Sandringham and came down stairs in the middle of the night to raid the fridge.

“As I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Prince Philip and a little Chinese man carrying what looked like a rolled-up carpet. Except there was an arm sticking out. I thought nothing of it.

“The next day I went for a walk in the grounds and waved to the Prince as he and his little Chinese friend threw some petrol on a white Fiat Uno and then set it on fire. I thought nothing of it.”

But another Palace source said: “This could be tricky. The pre-Christmas heart attack thing was just a ruse to create the impression that he’s too old and weak to cope with a murder investigation. The next 24 hours will be critical.

“Also, we’ve buried so many people over the years – Princess Margaret’s blackmailers, incompetent footmen, animal rights activists. Balmoral is like a giant cemetery.

“So there’s no guarantee that this body is connected in any way to the death of Diana. It’s probably just some jockey who failed to win the Derby.”

Mohammed Al-Fayed, who has long campaigned for the arrest and torture of Prince Philip, said: “He try bury me alive me once. I fight him off. I strong like Geoff Capes.”