THE first class sections of regional trains do not feature the opulent luxury and fine dining experiences of the Orient Express, a man has found.
Hoover salesman Roy Hobbs upgraded due to his Midland Arrivo train from Tamworth to Stoke being unbearably packed, but did not feel he was treated as a member of the glamorous international elite.
Hobbs said: “I was looking forward to relaxing in a posh armchair and pouring some whisky from a decanter, but when I got to first class it was almost identical to the pit of human misery I’d just come from.
“It was less busy, but there were no waiters in white tuxedos or antique lamps, just tired-looking men in cheap suits using spreadsheets in a sad way.
“I searched for the bar, where I planned to flirt with an attractive divorcee, but suddenly found myself back in standard with teenage goths and their dogs.”
He added: “When the ticket collector arrived I asked if lobster thermidor was on the menu in the dining car, but he just looked confused.”