HUMANITY has been reminded of what’s truly important by COVID-19. Here’s five lessons we’ll forget the moment it’s gone:
Supermarket staff deserve respect
Last month you cursed checkout staff for scanning your shopping too fast. But now they’re key workers on the frontline of a virus while earning paid minimum wage, you should probably hold them in higher esteem. Maybe write it down so you remember.
Experts give good advice
Truth-averse politicians openly disdained expertise until now, but suddenly people who’s studied a field their whole lives are being deferred to as if they know things. Don’t worry, once this crisis is over we can all believe Nigel Farage instead once again.
Too many jobs are bullshit
The world didn’t stop turning because SEO consultants had to work from home, confirming a suspicion that lots of jobs are nothing more than a grandiose title. If this sounds like you, perhaps use your furlough to learn a skill that’s actually useful.
Basic hygiene is important
Back in the day you would maybe wash your hands after taking a dump or handling raw meat, or both. Now you’re rigorously cleaning them every hour. A week after everything’s died down you’ll likely go back to a quick rinse after bagging dogshit.
Health is a public good
The more people are healthy, the less danger healthy people are in from unhealthy people. So the first policy after all this dies down will be banning migrants and EU citizens from using the NHS. To save money.