THINK you’ve got a good moral compass? Think again. Here are five things you’ll always love even though they’re certifiably dodgy.
The music of Michael Jackson
Can you separate art from the artist? If they cranked out bangers like ‘Smooth Criminal’ and ‘Billie Jean’ then society says a resounding ‘yes’. Just make sure you listen to the King of Pop’s tunes nice and loud so you can drown out your conscience nattering away about Leaving Neverland.
This apparently heart-warming film contains fat shaming, sexual harassment and manipulative stalking masquerading as romance, which should make it an impossible watch in the post-Me Too era. However, you happily snuggle up with it every Christmas, distracting yourself from the myriad bad bits by stuffing your face with Celebrations.
Yes, they rely on a sentient being getting killed and cut into thin little rashers. And yes, they aren’t doing your arteries any good either. But all of this fades into insignificance as soon as the taste of crispy bacon hits your tongue. They’re a loophole in your logic you’ll gladly ignore forever.
Jetting off on holiday three times a year
The environment’s f**ked and your little jaunts around the planet aren’t helping. But what else are you meant to do, settle for a week in Rhyl or relax on the mud in Weston-super-Mare? Fat chance. The snowflake younger generations need some hard experiences like total climate breakdown to toughen them up anyway.
Buying from Amazon
The working conditions are notoriously bad, and the rock-bottom prices are likely the result of tax avoidance. However it’s the easiest way to buy shit you don’t need and receive it the next working day. And for that, Amazon could nuke the ice caps and it would still have your seal of approval.