GORGEOUS people are better than you, and deserve to live in a world without consequences. Here’s some of the bullshit behaviour they can get away with that us regular uggos can’t:
Not having a personality
Developing an identity takes ages and the pay-off is minimal. Sadly if you’re not a 10 then you have to go through the ball-ache of cultivating a personality, otherwise people won’t have a reason to talk to you. Why else do you think people drop a small fortune on surgery to improve their looks?
You could catch a hottie shacking up with your partner and you still wouldn’t get mad as they try to lie their way out of it. It probably wasn’t what it looks like, you’ll think, as you get lost in their dreamy eyes and secretly hope their blatant adultery spirals into a steamy threesome.
Making empty promises
Commitments are for regular-looking people. Expecting stunners not to be flakes is unfair because they’re bombarded with more party invites and hot dates in a single afternoon than everyone else gets in a decade. If you’re ever lucky enough to have brunch with a gorgeous person, just try to live in the moment and savour it.
Even the most attractive of people can’t get away with something serious like murder, but the odd bit of shoplifting here and there will probably only land them with a slap on the wrist. Speeding, drug dealing and vandalism are just some of the many crimes they don’t need to worry about, while public nudity will land them a modelling contract.
Being ridiculously high-maintenance
Want to send a steak back to the kitchen for the fifth time because it isn’t the exact shade of pink you desire? Knock yourself out if you’re gorgeous. Try this sort of shit if you’ve got an underbite or a bald spot and you’ll find yourself slung out onto the streets faster than you can say ‘hypocrisy’.