Sunday, 25th October 2020

F**king show-off sends Christmas cards

A WOMAN has only gone and posted everyone lovely, thoughtful Christmas cards like a f**king ars*hole.    

Emma Bradford, who is seemingly determined to make everyone hate her, actually hand-wrote at least 24 cards to family and friends before sending them in plenty of time.

Sister Kelly said: “P*ss off Emma, you ostentatious twat.

“The moment I saw a handwritten card on the doormat my bile began to rise. Who has time to write out cards with an actual pen, put a stamp on them and post them in the big red thingy?

“I also heard she buys everyone Christmas gifts from shops, not Amazon. And wraps them herself. What a d*ck.

“This isn’t a ‘nice’ gesture. This is a message that clearly says ‘I am better at Christmas than you’ and demands we bow down in fealty.

“Personally, I’ll be sending everyone a Facebook message featuring a GIF of a cat in a Santa hat on Monday. Because I’m not a swaggering egotistical w*nker.”