Monday, 20th January 2020

Watching 'Elf' make everything better

ELF film and booze make everything  nice, thinks tired Britain. 

Bad election thing Brexit not think about. Curtains closed and lights on tree and festive Elf film, heartwarming message, warm glow.

Tired man Tom Booker say: “Knackered. F**king long year. Not good things happen. Me eat mince pie and watch film.

“Elf funny. Make laugh. Pretty girl like elf. Everyone happy at end. Me happy too.”

Wife Rebecca Booker agree: “Me find sparkly lights and put round window. Lights so sparkly. Sofa so squishy. Me put tall man dressed in funny clothes on telly. Everything fine now.”

New leader of tired people Boris Johnson say: “Tired people. Excellent. Me get Brexit done.”