Flapjacks 'gang weapon of choice'

INNER city gang members have swapped guns for flapjacks.

After teachers in Essex highlighted the deadly potential of oats baked with Golden Syrup, street criminals have been switching to edible weapons.

A spokesman for Stratford’s notorious Kill Dem Crew said: “You can use a really sharp-edged flapjack to poke someone to death, then wipe it off and consume the evidence.

“Although flapjacks are fucking horrible, eating one is very slightly better than going to prison.”

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Knox resigned to spending four out of every eight years in prison

AMANDA Knox has pretty much accepted that she will be in and out of prison on a rolling eight year cycle.

The shifty-looking but currently acquitted American student will be retried for murder, convicted and released on appeal after a second four year spell in jail.

After the second release the Italian prosecutors will overturn the second acquittal and return her to jail with an anticipated third successful appeal date of 2025.

A spokesman for the court in Perugia said: “If you know another way of doing it, then please do write in.”

Julian Cook, professor of understanding Italy at Roehampton University, added: “I don’t understand any of this.”

Meanwhile, it has emerged that Knox is investigating career options what will accommodate her Italian prison obligations.

A source said: “Acting or music would be good. Maybe something she could continue to do whenever she’s in prison, like PR consultancy or a financial advice website.

“She probably won’t start a furniture shop.”