Flash car in no way reflects rest of man’s life

A FANCY car bought on finance is totally unrepresentative of the rest of its owner’s fairly crap life, it has emerged.

Martin Bishop’s sporty Mercedes convertible suggests he has a glamorous lifestyle, although in reality he works at Londis and rents a room above a chip shop.

Bishop said: “When I saw you can get a Mercedes on monthly payments with no deposit I jumped at it, even if it means I’m effectively below the poverty line in the rest of my life.

“People are always impressed, although it can lead to awkward moments when they find out I don’t live in a luxury penthouse, just a shared flat that smells of battered sausages.

“I was particularly disappointed when a woman I’d hoped to have sex with lost interest after discovering my job is mainly restocking shelves with Pepperamis.

“The Merc means I’ve had to economise a bit but when you look at the exquisite interior trim, 1.8 litre engine and high-tech dash display it’s definitely worth not eating on some days.

“I can see it might project the image that I’m wealthy and own a yacht or something, but I’ve applied for extra shifts on the fags counter so who knows where that might lead?

“People should accept me for the person I am, which is a guy with an expensive car that makes me really cool and important.”