HOMEOWNERS have just four years to forget everything they may have learned during the financial crisis, experts have warned.
By 2014 house prices are expected to have risen above their 2009 value, allowing mortgage holders to go back to spending the difference on a pot bellied pig, a solar-powered espresso machine and a waterproof television for their shower.
But experts have stressed that many people are still smarting from the recession and may even decide to remember how cretinous they were before some greedy Americans ruined it for everyone.
Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “We are now facing the terrifying possibility that some people may not repeat their mistakes.
“The danger then is that the real idiots will notice them and how content they are with just having a perfectly nice house with a little bit of equity. Not to mention the relaxed, cheerful disposition of someone who does not have to keep spending money to take their mind off how much money they’re spending.
“They must not be allowed to succeed.”
He added: “We’ll probably start off by parking a speedboat in their driveway or one of those Volvos that basically drives itself but with the magical phrase ‘0%’ plastered over every inch of it.
“Or we could just save ourselves a lot hassle and frame them for child molestation.
“It’s rather sweet that you think we wouldn’t.”