Friend only offering to do favour to complain about it later

A MAN has offered to help his friend move house so he can hold it against him forever, he has confirmed. 

Tom Logan volunteered for an ardous day’s lifting knowing that he would reap his reward in whinging about it for the next six years.

He said: “Oh, Nate is going to hear about this. Every time I see those records on his shelf I’ll remind him who put them there.

“It’s given me a bad back, I’ve missed crucial World Cup group games I wasn’t actually planning to watch, and he doesn’t even need all this shit anyway. Which I’ve told him, and will subsequently be telling everyone else.

“The worst part is he’ll never return the favour because even if he offered to I wouldn’t let him. The bastard.”

Friend Nathan Muir said: “I know that Tom didn’t really want to help out, but I also know that complaining is his absolute favourite thing.

“This is my little gift to him to replace the time he picked me up from the airport in 2010. I’m confident he’ll get the most from it.”