Genuinely unexpected item found in bagging area

A SOLID gold South American idol, lost for 1,600 years, has been found unexpectedly in the self-service bagging area of a Swindon Tesco. 

The pre-Columbian object, with an estimated value of £220,000, was discovered yesterday afternoon by shopper Joanna Kramer when picking up a few groceries.

She said: “I was scanning my stuff  when up it pipes with ‘unexpected item in the bagging area’, which obviously I assumed was a bag, as usual.

“But it turned out to be a mask of beaten gold created by a sophisticated ancient civilisation. That’s not the kind of thing you find in the bagging area at all.

“I gawped at it for a few minutes, looked for a barcode but there wasn’t one, then put it back just to hear the till call it ‘unexpected’ a few more times.”

Kramer added: “Then the woman supervising the self service area just swiped approval without even looking, so I stuck it in my bag and fucked off.”