Grown woman pays money for handstand classes

A GROWN-UP woman has admitted she is paying to learn how to do handstands.

Helen Stephens said she had succumbed to the latest fitness craze that could just easily be done in the living room or back garden without a ‘qualified instructor’.

Stephen said: “I’m really worried about my ‘core’. I don’t know exactly what that is, but as far as I understand, nothing is more important.

“Allegra, my handstand instructor, tells me that I’m now handstanding at a semi-professional level.”

Meanwhile, children who do dozens of handstands a day have offered to teach adults for far less than the £35 an hour they will currently be paying to people like Allegra.

Nine-year-old Emma Bradshaw said: “It’s just a handstand. It’s meant to be fun. Each one of my handstands is perfectly executed and I don’t ever mention my core.”

She added: “I’m making a list of things not to spend money on when I’m a grown up.”

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'Street food' incredibly expensive for something that's meant to be off the street

PLACES that sell ‘street food’ do not have ‘street prices’, it has been confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that while places selling ‘street food’ are absurdly expensive, pubs that claim to be selling ‘World Class Grub’ are actually very cheap.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “You’d think it would be the other way round.”

Nikki Hollis, who runs an Indian street food ‘pop-up’ in London, said: “The food we sell is exactly like the food you might buy on the streets of Delhi.

“Obviously there it would cost you pennies but here it costs much, much more. You’re paying the extra to be able to say you’re eating ‘street food’.”

She added: “Idiots think that’s cool. And they have money. It’s just fantastic.”