A MAN who has been dragged to a social event by his wife has silently expressed his need for help from the other side of the room, it has emerged.
Nathan Muir’s dead-eyed face briefly emerged from the crowd at his sister-in-law’s New Year drinks party when he made his inaudible, desperate plea for assistance.
He said: “Please, I’m begging you, help me. This is the third party I’ve been dragged to this week and I don’t know how much more small talk I can take. You’re my only hope.
“I don’t even know most of these people. I assume they’re colleagues or extended family or neighbours but I can’t be certain. All I know for sure is that they’re not my mates and a nice pint, which is all I want.
“If you can see me, please drag me away to talk about the World Cup or The Traitors or anything that isn’t related to Christmas. But hurry. I can’t endure the misery of making idle chit chat while wearing my one nice shirt for much longer.”
Muir’s wife said: “I’m having such a nice time but we need to leave soon. I’ve arranged for us to swing by two other family dos on the way home.”