BRITAIN’S hipsters are making a nuisance of themselves by visiting seaside resorts to enjoy them ironically, it has emerged.
Towns like Clacton-on-Sea are proving irresistible to trendy wankers due to their plentiful supply of crap entertainment that can be enjoyed in a culturally superior way.
Holidaymaker Roy Hobbs said: “The crazy golf was full of Peckham hipsters laughing and saying how shit it was. It really took the shine off getting the ball through the windmill.
“Then the arcade was rammed with yet more of them taking pictures of crap old games like Frogger as if they were rare historical artefacts.
“The last straw was when I went to buy a novelty sweet shaped like a child’s dummy and they’d sold the last one to a skinny branding consultant called Justin.”
New media producer Nikki Hollis said: “We had a wonderful fry-up in an authentic greasy spoon. I could barely keep it down due to all the grease but I’ve got some cool pictures of the sausages.
“The fairground rides were shit, the candyfloss was shit and the Punch and Judy show was mega-shit. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in ages.”