Hoover Sex Cleaner Ditched By Polish Vacuum

THE Polish vacuum cleaner whose boyfriend was caught having sex with a Henry Hoover has spoken of her shame and disgust at his gay love antics. 

Skank

The Miele 1600 watt cylinder model said the two had met in an electrical appliance store in Warsaw and, after a whirlwind romance, had set up home in his apartment.

She said: “He was lovely boyfriend, he take me out restaurant, cinema, pay attention my feelings, not demand suck, suck, suck all time like other men.

“He say ‘we get married soon’, I to come over England, he get me job in hospital where he work so we together, start family. Have lot of little hoover together.

“Now it in all papers in Poland he caught, trousers down, in filth sex on job with other hoover – but one who is man. I cannot go out, I so ashamed.

“I ask him on phone ‘why? why? why?’, he just say ‘Henry suck like Linda Lovelace with big cute face’. I never want see him again.”

Meanwhile the Henry at the centre of the sex storm has said he will stand by his new lover, even if it costs him his job.

The two are planning to ‘marry’ in a civil partnership later this year, following in the footsteps of Denys Hatton, the Conservative MP for Minchinhamptonsteadbury who tied the knot with his Dyson last summer in a ceremony attended by Lady Thatcher and Michael Portillo.