THE ‘Colston Four’ being cleared of criminal damage spells the end of our once great country. Here gammon Roy Hobbs explains why.
Vandalism has been legalised
The ruling has set a precedent for vandalism to be legal. Anyone could scrawl ‘BIGOTED WANKER’ on my Audi if they did it with ‘antiracist conviction’. I’m sure the unwashed lefty students next door did it last time. Them or Mrs Perkins who runs the charity shop.
History is cancelled
If we don’t have monuments to old blokes I didn’t give a shit about before all this BLM rubbish, we’ll forget history and the past will be completely erased. Without Edward Colston being honoured I can’t even remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
None of our statues are safe
We’ll have to form vigilante gangs to guard our precious statues from Marxist nutters intent on desecrating them. How long before someone welds a giant cock to the forehead of Sir Winston Churchill in Parliament Square? No, it wouldn’t be hilarious. That’s treason, mate. I’m reporting you to the police.
Mobs will decide everything
This verdict means we’ve accepted mob rule, so a mob will decide everything. Do you want to have to wait for a mob to turn up and tell you whether you can go to B&Q on Sunday morning to return a faulty drill bit? Well get used to it, because that’s definitely going to happen.
Wokeness is now a defence in the eyes of the law
You can get away with anything if you do it in the name of ‘wokeness’. Even murder, probably. Although murder doesn’t sound very woke. That’s the kind of thing that snowflakes cry about, isn’t it? A murder is what started this whole thing. Hang on, I’m confused now. Again.