YOU might be a progressive tofu-eating Guardian reader, but do you know how to support straight white men? Become an ally to this un-marginalised group with this guide.
Educate yourself
Learning requires unlearning. Forget all those preconceived notions about how terrible straight white men are that feminism has brainwashed you with. If you read the history books you’ll find at least a dozen who didn’t do anything terrible. Their descendants should be proud of this achievement.
Speak up
If you hear someone speaking ill of straight white men, have the courage to speak up and defend them. Like Atticus Finch, but for people with a Ford Focus called Graham. However white men have done a lot of bad shit like sexism and inventing golf, so do a rigorous fact check to make sure the insults are not justified. Usually they are, so you’re better off keeping your mouth shut, actually.
Try to get to know one
Not difficult because they’re bloody everywhere. The hard bit is putting up with them as they dominate the conversation and correct you on your opinions with wisdom gleaned from the pub or ‘the real world’. Your hard work will pay off though as you’ll be able to say ‘I’ve got a lot of straight white friends, actually’ if someone accuses you of being progressive.
Own their privilege for them
Because f**k knows they won’t acknowledge it for themselves. Whenever you see a straight white man taking the inside track on life thanks to the vast privilege gifted to him by society, make sure you remind them of their undeserved good fortune and undermine any actual hard work they might have put in. They’ll be really grateful for your feedback and try to fail in future.
Learn tolerance
Nobody’s saying you need to go as far as inviting one to hang out with your multi-racial gender fluid polycule on board game night. Could you imagine? But small changes add up. If you can listen to a straight white man droning on about fishing or roadworks without yawning, you’ll be making a positive difference to society. Well done, you hero.
