MOST of the UK population feels like shit, it has emerged.
Research by the Institute for Studies found that 64% of Britons currently feel like shit, with an additional 16% feeling ‘pretty shit’.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “People who feel ok are such a small minority that they’re practically freaks.
“If everyone felt fine, there would be virtually no fuck-ups. Trains would run on time, newspapers would be free of spelling mistakes and even ITV2 would be quite good.
“Saying that, I must admit I feel pretty shit today. Had a few drinks last night then stayed up and watched two-thirds of a detective film with Michael Douglas in it.”
Professor Brubaker believes an unrealistic attitude to midweek drinking is the main cause of feeling like shit.
“People think it’s possible to have four or five pints on a week night and feel alright the following day. It’s a behaviour learned during their student years, when they didn’t have to get up until 3pm and then only to watch game shows.”
He added: “More people feel like shit now than in the Middle Ages, when we slept on straw and were regularly attacked by marauders.”
Sales administrator Julian Cook said: “I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of coming down with mumps. Also everything always looks a bit blurry around the edges.
“I’m so very tired.”