‘I can’t possibly pay more tax’, says man with Range Rover and Koi carp pond

A MAN with a large 4×4 and a Koi carp pond in his garden has insisted that paying a penny more in tax will cripple him.

Standing angrily outside his five bedroom house in Surrey, Martin Bishop said: “Do you have any idea how much Koi carp food costs?

“These fish are the thoroughbreds of the decorative fish world.

“And when I get in my Range Rover and drive to my house in the Dordogne, I have to pay someone to feed the fish. I’d take the fish with me, but then I might get water in my Range Rover.”

Bishop’s gardener, Tom Booker, said: “He gave me a £1 tip at Christmas and keeps doing ‘funny’ impressions of my working class accent.

“I regularly piss in his swimming pool.”