Idiot bans his kids from playing Xbox

A FATHER who banned his children from playing Xbox cannot believe how much work he has made for himself, he has admitted. 

Tom Booker hit his two children with the tough punishment of no Xbox for the whole weekend last night, and by lunchtime today was already trying to find a way of rescinding his ruling as a ‘reward’.

He said: “Oh sure, it sounded good, and the shocked looks on their little faces were worth it at the time, but all I really did was make my life much fucking harder for no reason.

“Normally it’s breakfast, quick chat about whatever, then they’re on Minecraft and I’m putting on my football bets for the weekend then catching them again at lunch. Happy families.

“But this morning they finished their Cheerios and just sat there blankly, then made me play a board game with them like I was the dad in the advert for the board game.

“Then they got the craft stuff out, glue and glitter and the bloody works, and I had to sit there cutting up cornflakes boxes while they made inane chatter with me about school and their friends and the rest. I can’t do another day of this.”

Daughter Daisy said: “It’s been really great, grinding Dad down by spending quality time with him. I can’t wait to level up by breaking his spirit entirely.”