Idiot carefully explains why hen parties are just like the World Darts Championship

AN IDIOT has set out his theory of why hen parties are just as sexist as the World Darts Championship.

Martin Bishop explained that a male stripper who has been paid to be voluntarily sexualised at an adults-only event means it is acceptable to wolf-whistle at scantily clad young women being paraded on the stage of a darts contest.

Leaning back in his chair and smiling, Bishop said: “I have given an example of a situation where women can objectify men and so that is the end of the argument. You have nothing to complain about.”

But Eleanor Shaw, a woman, said: “Yeah…not really the same.

“I’ve been dragged to a few boxing and darts shows because I married the wrong person. There are never men holding up round cards in a pair of Speedos.

“If we had sexy men parading around as a side-attraction at private, ‘women only’ dinners or at ‘women’s sports’ such as netball, volleyball or tennis, then Martin might have a point.

“But we don’t, so he’s an idiot.”

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Mother-in-law a 'fascist nightmare on gak' until babysitter needed

A WOMAN’S mother-in-law is basically a Nazi on speed until the babysitter cancels and a quick replacement is needed, it has been confirmed.

Emma Bradford takes exception to the way her mother-in-law, Jackie Williams, keeps making ‘helpful suggestions’, such as not raising her son vegan, but is also instantly fine with Williams raising her son when there is nobody else around to do it.

Bradford said: “I’m so sick of the way Jackie keeps interfering. The other day she tried to potty train Will, insisting he was ‘lagging behind’. He’s three weeks old.

“She also took down a lampshade in his room, insisting it was ‘aggressively pointy’ and she keeps insisting he’s already said his first word and it was ‘grandmajackie’.

“She’s a fucked up nightmare, but also I’ve got to nip to the shops and she’s the only person with nothing else on.”

Bradford added: “The most healthy thing I can do is put firm boundaries in place and show her who’s in charge: me.

“And also her when I’ve got a girls’ night out and her idiot son is on a golf weekend.”