READERS of the Daily Mail have declared ISIS’s stance on crime and sex to be disappointingly soft.
A list of ISIS’s punishments published on the newspaper’s website has revealed that its stance on things like shoplifting is less brutal than Mail devotees would ideally like.
58-year-old Tom Booker said: “Obviously the bit about homosexuals being put to death is not a problem, but if you get caught stealing a Yorkie bar you should clearly be hung.
“If you only have one hand you could keep stealing with the remaining one.
“I’m not sure what calumny is but it probably deserves 100 lashes rather than 80.
“Also, why does it make no mention of turning a car around in another man’s driveway, especially when they have put a sign up expressly forbidding it. That warrants being stung to death by hornets.”
He added: “I should stress that I am obviously against ISIS. They are foreign.”