John Lewis kid's gift to parents is list of ways they disappoint him

THE huge box the child in the John Lewis advert hands to his parents contains a detailed breakdown of how they have failed him, it has emerged.

The advert shows the eight year-old becoming increasingly impatient in the lead up to Christmas, before leaping out of bed, ignoring his own presents and handing the gift to his parents whose immediate reaction is exactly as he had hoped.

But the full version shows the mother and father unwrapping the large box to find a long, hand written note, filled with bitter disappointment and recrimination.

The first item on the list is: “I’ve probably just interrupted you having sex. On Christmas Day. You sicken me.”

It continues: “The reason I have not opened my presents first is because, like your middle class salary, they are worthless.

“Why are we not in an Alpine chalet right now? Is it because of your lack of talent?

“You continually fail to address my needs while gorging yourselves on wine.

“And you seem to think affection is a reasonable substitute for state of the art electronics.”

The youngster then closes with: “You probably had dreams once, but you have betrayed them in the same way you have betrayed my future.

“Merry Christmas. I despise you.”

A John Lewis spokesman said: “We decided to go with the edited version because we have the same level of contempt for you.”


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

TV highlights