SO what if UK wages have been hit by soaring inflation? Get around yet another financial catastrophe with this governmental advice.
Just ask for a pay rise
It’s not a big deal that wages have not kept up with price rises. Simply kick open the door to your boss’ office, show them the bad news on your phone, then ask for a 20 grand pay rise. They’re bound to see your point of view, pick up the blower and ask HR to add a few extra zeroes onto the end of your pay packet. Problem solved.
Move in with your parents
Struggling to afford your recently doubled rent, let alone massive utility bills? Save some money by moving back in with your parents, who have had to move back in with your grandparents if they’re still alive. You’ll all be like one big happy Victorian pauper family as you huddle around a candle for warmth.
Cancel your Netflix account
The £10.99 a month you’re shelling out for Netflix is the source of all your financial misery. It’s why you can’t afford a house deposit or the £5,300 energy bill headed your way. The government’s doing all it can by begrudgingly giving you a grant of f**k all, so it’s time you pulled your weight by sacrificing one of the few joys left in your life.
Get another job
Yes, you’re working a poorly-paid day job, and then you spend your evenings at your even worse paid second job, but you could still be doing more. There must be a way you can monetise your sleep or unprofitable bathroom breaks, surely? The internet’s full of weirdos who would pay good money to watch that stuff.
Work for an energy company
Have you seen how much money they’re earning in bonuses? Even if you only worked there for a couple of months you’d probably be set for life. And how hard can it be to sit in an office and look at a graph where the profit line is vertical and extends through the ceiling? Email them your CV and then put your feet up.
