THE ban on musical instruments in prison does not include cool synths, it has been confirmed.
Chris Grayling MP, a former member of Ultravox, confirmed there is no ban on Moog synthesisers, keytars, drum machines or the theremin.
He said: “The majority of inmates are either violent offenders or people who feel they have been treated badly by society, so give them guitars and you get either predictable cock-rock or whining indie miserablism.
After almost six decades of jailhouse rock with no effect on rehabilitation were taking another approach.
Under new rules, prisoners forming synth-pop bands, rave collectives or embarking on the creation of epic ambient soundscapes may be allowed out on tour.
Pentonville inmate Tom Booker said: You cant walk down C-Block without hearing an innovative take on the Bronski Beat sound these days.
Every cell has one bloke banging on the bars and shouting while the other one stands silent and menacing in the shadows, just like the Pet Shop Boys.
We could do with some expert help, though six lads have been blinded trying to learn Jean Michel Jarres laser harp so Ive arranged for a mate on the outside to frame Vince Clarke for murder.