Friday, 10th July 2020

Knowing all the Doctor Whos in order will get you 70 points instantly, immigrants told

BRITAIN will only admit migrants who can name all of the actors who played Doctor Who in the correct order, the government has announced.

Home Secretary Priti Patel said that being able to recall everyone who has pretended to be a Time Lord will encourage the brightest and best to come to the UK.

Patel said: “Today there are lots more Doctor Whos compared to when the UK joined the EU in 1973, so it’s time our immigration policy reflected that.

“I don’t want to be served coffee by a barista who can’t remember if Sylvester McCoy came before Paul McGann, or if that was even canon. It just wouldn’t be right.

“Should businesses take a risk by recruiting workers who think Peter Cushing is the real deal? Or that Resurrection of the Daleks was a Tom Baker story? I don’t think so.

“Admittedly my parents wouldn’t be allowed into the UK because they lost touch with the show after Patrick Troughton left, but this isn’t about my background.”

London-based Spanish doctor Hugo Fernandez-Portes said: “Does Richard Hurndall count? My future kind of relies on this.”