Lack of religious education leaves pupils unprepared for life in 1951

MORE than a quarter of England’s secondary schools do not offer religious education, leaving pupils unable to cope with life in the early 1950s.

Research found that the lack of RE means youngsters are clueless when they go to church every Sunday and discriminates against the millions of British children who dream of becoming the Archbishop of Swansea.

The Reverend Jeffrey Muir said: “I first warned of this trend more than 10 years ago and was given an absolute reassurance that Mr Churchill would address the issue, but nothing was done.

“I understand he was fighting Hitler, but the war has been over for six years now and our schools are marching relentlessly towards godlessness. I’m not a fan of communism, but at least Mr Stalin keeps his promises.”

Tom Logan, a head teacher from Stevenage, said: “We teach RE by asking the children to watch Batman v Superman and Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ on their phones.

“Then they send us a Snapchat message saying which one was the most ridiculous. There’s no wrong answer.”

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Man on 'Come Dine With Me' had never been in a butcher's before in his life 

A CONTESTANT on Come Dine With Me who went to his local butchers to buy five steaks had never been inside a butcher’s shop in his life, it has emerged.

Tom Booker, from Bedford, decided to buy the steaks from his local butcher instead of the supermarket as it would ‘make it look like he knows what he’s doing’.

Booker said: “I usually just walk past the butcher and think ‘Christ, that place looks like a fucking horror show’. But I’ve seen other people do it so I thought I should to.

“Me and the butcher, Roy, hit it off straight away and so he was happy to pretend I go in there all the time.

“I called him ‘Norman’ in the first few takes, so eventually he wrote ‘ROY’ on his apron in pigs’ blood, just as a little reminder.”

Booker added: “I probably won’t be going back though as it really stunk of raw meat and there were bits of dead animal everywhere.”

The show’s producer, Emma Bradford, said: “We encourage the contestants to do what they would normally do at one of their dinner parties. Whether that’s having a jug band playing in the garden, a salsa class before pudding or just having Michael Barrymore sitting at the table looking lost and confused.”