90 percent of kebabs more regrettable than 90 percent of one night stands

NINETY percent of kebabs are significantly more regrettable than most drunken one night stands, researchers have have confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that people felt a greater shame after looking at the remains of whatever that was they ate last night compared to peeling back the covers and looking at someone they do not know, or in worst cases, they know really well.

Kebab victim, Donna Sheridan said, “Sleeping with Martin from accounts was a terrible, terrible idea. That’s just a fact.

“But he’s not quite as greasy, odorous and misshapen as whatever that was. This time, I really do feel dirty.”

Martin Bishop added: “Sleeping with Donna from HR was a terrible, terrible idea. That’s just a fact.

“But I’m supposed to be a vegan and me and my girlfriend are going to a vegan food market today. I’m sure they’ll smell the meat on me.

“Obviously, the fact that I’ve got a girlfriend would make you think that I should regret the one night stand more.

“But, like I said, I’m a vegan and that always comes first.”