THE Tories are facing a massive fall in public support after their slogan ‘For Hardworking People’ excluded almost everyone.
The majority of the UK population are employed full-time in roles where they coast along with minimum effort.
PR account manager Joanna Kramer said: “I did nothing at school, fuck-all at university, and I find that the office is a lovely place to spend languorous days talking about the X-Factor, though of course I do work from home a lot as well.
Its how Ive chosen to live my life, and as a fellow PR twat I expect David Cameron to respect that.
“Now, if youll excuse me, I have to leave early for a 2pm hair appointment.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said:For young people work is a place to rest between weekends, for the middle-aged its a place to rest between bouts of childcare, and for the old its the only place they get an eight-hour sit down with regular cups of tea.
The hardest workers are those on low incomes or immigrants, who are generally despised for making everyone else look bad.”
Senior Tories are rushing to assure the public that its fine to sit around pulling your pud all day if youre in paid employment, have inherited wealth, or are attractive enough to leech off somebody else.
But privately Conservatives are unworried about the fall in support, because none of the lazy bastards will bother to go down to their local primary school and vote.