Learner driver can't wait to ditch this 'ten-to-two' bullshit

A LEARNER driver cannot wait to ditch the bullshit ten-to-two hand position.

Nikki Hollis has confirmed that the first thing she will do when she passes will be to drive out of the test centre with a non-standard wheel grip of her own choosing.

Hollis said: “I’m not even going to feed the steering wheel through my hands when I’m doing a three-point-turn.

“I’ll probably just put my palm on it and sort of spin it round like they do on TV.

“This is what they mean by the freedom of the open road.”

Hollis’ instructor Susan Traherne said: “This is Nikki’s first lesson. It’s very hard to predict when she might pass.

“Probably not for a while.”

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Woman planning nice healthy dinner of soup and entire loaf of bread

A WOMAN is planning a simple, nutritious kitchen supper of a carrot soup and a full loaf of bread.

Nikki Hollis is maintaining her commitment to healthy eating with her home-cooked, beautifully seasoned meal with enough crusty loaf to build a small shed from on the side.

She said: “Even though it’s winter there’s no excuse for not eating well. No need for a big, fattening roast to warm you up.

“Instead I’m whipping up a flavourful soup, accompanied by a few slices of bread. I’ll leave the loaf there just in case.

“And because getting through carbs that would bloat Mo Farah can leave the mouth a bit dry, I’ll also leave out the full-fat butter. And the garlic butter.”

Hollis plans to finish her rustic snack with a fair-sized slab of strawberry cheesecake, in order to get her five-a-day.