Liz Jones launches used condom appeal

DAILY Mail experiment Liz Jones has urged men across Britain to send her their used condoms.

In a bid to conceive a child for the nation, Jones has launched an appeal for unwanted sperms and hopes the country will inundate her with little bags of semen.

To ensure she has the widest possible choice of reproductive fluid, Jones has devised a seven-point guide to highly-effective semen logistics:

Ejaculate into bag.

Remove bag from penis.

Tie knot in bag (Do not use staples, it could leak).

Rinse surface of bag under warm tap.

Place bag in fridge.

Source suitable transportation container, preferably Tupperware, though Jiffy bag would do if you’ve tied a really good knot.

Using black marker pen, write on parcel – The Liz Jones Sperm Appeal, Freepost, PO Box 14, Cirencester. Add ‘Sperm – Fragile’ in top right hand corner and then hand to person behind Post Office counter.

Jones said: “I can’t wait for the parcels to start arriving. It’ll be like a never-ending Christmas as I rip open each little packet and squeeze the contents into my trembling uterus.”

Meanwhile, she has urged donors not to include a photograph or any personal details as she wants her baby’s surprising DNA to provide up to five years worth of ground-breaking journalism.

 

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