LONDONS criminals have told the Metropolitan Police that they disgust them.
As it emerged police investigated Stephen Lawrences family to see if they did anything egregiously black so they would not have to bother solving his murder, the capitals underworld have asked if they can be arrested by Kent police in future.
Roy Hobbs, a small-time shit from Bermondsey said: I was carving the terms and conditions of my 17,000% loan on to a customers forehead when I heard about the Lawrence thing. Frankly, it turned my stomach.
My customer wiped the blood from her face and said if I’d had anything to do with the Met shed be bitterly disappointed.
Burglars, car thieves and muggers have agreed to cease activities until the police reach the minimum standard of basic decency required to not catch them.
Meanwhile, the public have been asked to report any unauthorised crime to Mick the Fuckers Garage and Waste Disposal Centre on the Isle of Dogs. A uniformed bouncer will break the miscreants thumbs within 24 hours.
Trifling thief Wayne Hayes said: “All the lads are taking a stand on this, except for our colleagues in banking. They seem to like the police even more now.”