LONDON has almost wet itself laughing at the city of Leeds’ idea of what constitutes a proper traffic jam.
The capital’s hilarity was caused by drivers in Leeds becoming angry and despondent due to a pathetic temporary gridlock at 5.30pm in the City Square.
Van driver Roy Hobbs said: “Call that a traffic jam? Ten cars waiting at red lights? Londoners can be stuck in traffic for three hours and we still laugh it off as ‘minor congestion’.
“You Northerners are fond of telling Southerners we’re soft, but have you ever been trapped all afternoon on the North Circular with nothing to eat except half a bottle of Evian and two Polos?
“There’s heavy goods vehicles trying to get from Epping to Guildford that set out in 2012 and they’re still only in Clapham.
“In a proper London jam you might never move again. Just yesterday I armed myself with the jack handle in case we were stuck there permanently and people started turning cannibal.”
Leeds resident Donna Sheridan said: “I’ll concede that Londoners are better at traffic jams but that doesn’t excuse cockney bullshit, all those bloody musicals and Danny Dyer.”