DRIVERS should pay for their fuel at the pump, fill up their cars and then get the hell out of there instead of pissing about for fucking ages, Britain has confirmed.
As police called for motorists to pay in advance to prevent fuel theft, millions of drivers stressed they are not bothered about that but do care enormously about selfish, time-wasting arseholes who sit there doing Christ knows what instead of just driving away.
Emma Bradford, who is waiting to use pump number seven at a Tesco in Hatfield, said: “Is this guy ordering his weekly shopping? Is he watching Netflix? What the fuck is going on?
“Hurry up. You bastard.”
Wayne Hayes, who is currently watching House of Cards next to pump number seven, said: “Putting petrol in a car is very stressful and tiring, so I like to take a bit of time afterwards.
“Forecourts are also nice, quiet places, so I can really concentrate on the multi-layered storylines and character development.”