Man and woman trying to work out if this is a date

TWO single people having lunch together are unsure if they are on some sort of date.

Roy Hobbs, 32, asked work colleague Mary Fisher, 30, to join him at a mid-priced restaurant in order to ‘run a few ideas about the department past her’.

Hobbs said: “I find Mary very attractive and only invented the work stuff as a pretext so I could ask her out. But now I am compelled to talk about it, which makes it feel like I haven’t really asked her out at all. Which I have. Or have I?’

Fisher said: “I have always fancied Roy and assumed when said he needed to talk about a work, he was using that as an excuse to be alone with me.

“I felt I had to ask him about it to play along but now he has gone on about possible departmental restructuring right through the starters.”

At one point the couples’ hands touched, but since it was while Hobbs was making a point about paperless technology neither was sure if it counted for anything.

Fisher said: “We talked about our mutual love of Phuket, though maybe that was just because Roy had run out of things to say about the benefits of e-billing.”

Hobbs said: “At least she still has absolutely no idea how much I want to get off with her, which is the most important thing.”

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How hungry you are may be linked to how much food you should eat

DIET experts are exploring a new theory that an inbuilt sense called ‘hunger’ may somehow indicate how much food we should consume.

Following continued confusion over whether it is better to eat vast amounts of chips or loads of chocolate bars, health advisors have begun work on a new theory that humans may have an instinctive means of gauging their calorie intake.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “It’s hard to pinpoint why most Britons are overweight, but it may be linked to constantly eating shitloads of food just for something to do.

“There is evidence to suggest that the stomach gives off a ‘full’ or ‘bloated’ feeling when it is full to capacity with food products.

“Rather than ignoring it because Doritos are delicious, we can take heed and stop eating food for a bit.

“Having breaks of up to several hours between putting things into your mouth may result in a weight loss effect.”

43-year-old Julian Cook said: “I’ve heard about this sensation called ‘hunger’. It’s an empty feeling, almost a sadness, that comes from an interruption in one’s access to snack foods.

“Why would I listen to my body though? Clearly it is a fat idiot.”