A MAN is celebrating a pay rise by buying slightly more costly versions of the same boring things, it has been confirmed.
Wayne Hayes’s new-found position as ‘area sales manager’ will be reflected in changes to his lifestyle including adding avocado to his burrito when presented with the option, putting the expensive petrol in his car sometimes and buying pre-chopped carrots.
Hayes said: “There’s no way I’m wasting this on something like a once-in-a-lifetime holiday or a fancy car. That stuff’s for mugs.
“I’m spreading it nice and thin.”
To celebrate Hayes booked a meal at a slightly more expensive restaurant than he normally goes to, and got a taxi both ways.
He added: ”We went out to dinner last and had the third cheapest wine on the menu, instead of the second cheapest. I guess that’s just who I am now.
“I’ll also be enjoying Netflix in HD, and I’ve added movies to my satellite package. This must be basically what Branson feels like.”
