A MAN is cooking at a barbecue to avoid doing anything other than stand near hot meat drinking beer.
Wayne Hayes is busy ‘barbecuing’ while doing absolutely nothing else, even though he is mostly just staring at kebabs.
His girlfriend Emma Bradford said: “He told me he’d do the barbecue so I could relax. I’ve been to the supermarket, defrosted meat, chopped salad, poured drinks, fetched him stuff from the kitchen, seen to the guests, set the table and washed up.
“And what’s he done? Stood around prodding sausages like he’s Jamie fucking Oliver.
“Now everyone is banging on about what a great barbecue it was and he’s acting like he deserves a medal for making a few burgers hot.”
Wayne said: “I am bloody knackered now.”