Man on shitty little scooter incredibly sexually attractive, say women

A TEENAGER has become an object of intense sexual desire since he started riding round his area on an ear-splitting scooter.

Local females have admitted they rush out of their homes just to watch 17-year-old Martin Bishop slowly whizz by at 25mph, six times a day.

Donna Sheridan, 33, said: “He’s turned our boring little town into Easy Rider. Who is this mystery man, this enigmatic modern-day outlaw of the road?

“His second-hand 50cc Honda is pure sex. He may have L-plates on his powerful motorbike but you can bet he’s no learner between the sheets.”

Emma Bradford, 28, said: “I dream he’ll see me looking at him through the window and beckon me to ride pillion with him. He’d take me to a park bench for a can of Red Bull and a packet of Monster Munch. Wow.

“My husband says he’s a noise-polluting little prick riding around on the vehicular equivalent of a dentist’s drill, but he’s clearly just jealous of his virility.”

Bishop said: “I love the sense of freedom riding around in circles in a small regional town gives you. I’ll be back on the road once I’ve borrowed some petrol money off me mam.”