A MAN who went unnecessarily out of his way to grass up a shoplifter is expecting a big reward, he has confirmed.
Tom Logan has no truck with people who are not bothered by minor, potentially desperately motivated misdeeds, and clarified that his incentive for dobbing in shoplifters was a big trophy for being so principled and brave.
Logan said: “Shoplifting is not a victimless crime. Every Crème Egg scanned through the self-checkout as an onion is a pound less in the pockets of the Sainsbury’s bosses. I know they’ll be appreciating my hard, courageous work.
“And I’m not calling myself a hero, but I’m sure Batman would have also told the security guard to check the CCTV if he saw someone slip a tin of beans in their bag. Unlike Batman, though, I’d be happy to have my name in the paper. Just to set a good example.
“I guess I would find being presented with a Pride of Britain Award a bit embarrassing, but that’s just what happens for people who have done exceptional things. Like loudly reminding pensioners that if they want a bag they have to scan and pay for them.
“’What would Jesus do?’ I ask myself when I see these things happening. Well, he’d obviously turn a blind eye to a woman nicking baby formula, so I do the opposite of that woke do-gooder and call the police.”
