Man thinks ‘special snowflake’ means anyone he disagrees with

A MAN is wrongly using the term ‘special snowflake’ to refer to anyone who does not share his mean-spirited opinions, it has emerged.

Engineer Martin Bishop believes the expression – meaning people who feel entitled to special treatment – is a valid description of anyone who is not a miserable bastard like him.

Bishop said: “Last night there was a woman on the news discussing child poverty. What makes her such a special snowflake that she can drone on about depressing things?

“Or look at all these people moaning about not being able to buy a house. I can’t afford a Ferrari, which is a fair comparison, so they just need to shut up.

“Today at work Iain was all excited because his wife’s pregnant, but why should anyone else care? Total special snowflake.

“Later a customer phoned me by mistake and asked to be transferred to sales. I’m not here to pander to their sense of entitlement so I told her to fuck off and put the phone down.

“We’ve become a nation of special snowflakes. Thank God there are still people like me who just get on with things without whining.”

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It would get the little prick out of the country, realises Britain

BRITAIN has realised there is an obvious upside to making Nigel Farage ambassador to the US.

As president-elect Donald Trump ordered Theresa May to appoint the UKIP leader, millions of Britons recoiled at the idea before having a ‘lightbulb moment’.

Helen Archer, from Finsbury Park, said: “Of course! Get the little bastard the fuck out of here for four years. Force the Americans to put up with his ludicrous voice and his creepy fish face.”

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, added: ”Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.”

But Bill McKay, from Berwick, warned: “Of course even Donald Trump and his gang of arseholes may get sick out of him. He’ll be continually ‘popping in’ to the White House for some ‘banter’ about ‘fannies’.

“But even if he only lasts a year, it’s got to be worth it. I’ll be able to watch the news again.”