Man to say 'You can take the mask off now' numerous times today

AN OFFICE worker has confirmed plans to repeatedly tell workmates to take off their masks because it is no longer Halloween.

Martin Bishop of Stevenage has said he will say it to literally every male co-worker at least once today, and in some cases twice or even three times.

Bishop said: “It really is a funny line. I know for a fact everyone else thinks so too as they all laughed at it last year when I said it to them.”

However he will only be saying it to male work colleagues as some of the female ones ‘might take it the wrong way’.

Bishop added: “I know women, they act like they can take a joke but deep down I know it would hurt their feelings, especially as there really are some ugly women who work in this office.

I’d never say that to them, obviously. I’ve got far too much respect for them to do that.”

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Calais Jungle already turned into luxury apartments

THE refugee camp in Calais has already become luxury apartments that only footballers and bankers can afford.

The site, which housed some 2,000 refugees until last week, now contains 16 apartments that will never be used as the occupants already own at least four other properties each.

Developer Julian Cook said: “We’re hoping to get some really rich people moved in here as soon as possible.

We won’t be calling it the Calais Jungle any more either, because that might put some buyers off. It’ll be called Sunnyside Towers or the East Village or something stupidly nice instead.

“Although there will be a club and cocktail bar in the basement called ‘Jungle Nites’, because when you build these places you have to respect local history.”

“It will have a massive wall built around it to make sure only rich people can get in.”

He added: “There will still be immigrants here, obviously. After all, the toilets won’t clean themselves.”