Man visits place where all the news is from

A LINCOLN man has visited London to see the locations where all his favourite news bulletins are shot.

Surveyor Nathan Muir, who never misses an episode of the news, was delighted by his first visit to the exotic location where it all actually happens.

He said: “I looked in an estate agents’ window and there’s this housing crisis I’d read so much about, plain to see.

“And when I bought a coffee, it was from a real economically oppressed young person like I keep seeing on the television.

“I had hoped to be here for a tube strike, which sadly don’t manage to affect us over in the Fens, but was just a little bit too early.

“It is amazing, though, to read an article about mindfulness and think ‘This is actually taking place within a few miles of where I am.’ So different to home.”

Muir toured a few of the locations regularly seen in the news, including Downing Street, the Houses of Parliament and Southwark Crown Court, where former celebrities are regularly tried.

He added: “Though I must say I don’t see why their weather gets such massive coverage. It’s no different to ours.

“And I didn’t manage to get a selfie with someone eating quinoa, because apparently it’s just a media myth.”

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Corbyn thing actually happening

THIS whole Jeremy Corbyn thing is really happening, it has emerged.

Experts on reality said they had stared at it for a long time and could now confirm that it is an actual thing.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, added: “It is not a fantasy or a mirage. It is not one of those things that seems incredibly unlikely but gets people all excited before ultimately coming to nothing.”

He continued: “The fundamental aspect of its reality appears to be a relatively large number of people who are all going to do the same thing.”

Professor Brubaker added: “Whether that will be a good thing or bad thing remains to be seen. But it will be seen. Because it’s happening.”