Man who is great with kids would make terrible father

A MAN who everyone says is ‘good with children’ would be a horribly incompetent father, it has emerged.

Tom Logan is convinced he would be dad of the century based on short bursts of responsibility-free time with other people’s children.

However, it has been conformed, that just one day of actual parenting would expose how wildly unsuited he is.

Logan’s friend Helen Archer said: “We tell Tom he is great with kids because he is, in the same way as a children’s entertainer who doesn’t have to get them ready for school or decide whether to take them to A&E.”

Logan said: “I don’t tend to say this around other people, but parenting really is a piece of piss.

“The so-called experts won’t tell you this, but kids love sweet foods, playing video games on your phone and generally arsing around. You just have to do those three things.

“Keep it simple, that’s my philosophy. When I’m a dad I’ll probably write a blog about it.”