A NORTHERNER who fondly imagines he does not have a noticeable accent could not be more wrong.
Tom Logan, originally from Winsford but currently based in Cheam, believes he has a totally neutral accent, not realising colleagues refer to him as ‘Northern Tom’ and ‘Ecky Thump Man’.
Office worker Logan said: “Regional accents are great, but not having one means I can blend in effortlessly in any situation and be judged for who I am, not where I’m from. I like to think I’m a bit of a social chameleon.”
However co-worker Nikki Hollis said: “Tom sounds exactly like a character from Last of the Summer Wine or an Alan Bennett simpleton who won’t stop drivelling on about biscuits.
“He asked me if I wanted to go for a drink, and I almost said yes because he’s not bad looking, but then I realised he might want to do that thing where he puts a ferret up my trousers.
“Sorry, but I’m just not into that. Also if we got serious I’m not moving into a terraced house in Wigan with his coal miner dad sitting naked in a tin bath.”
Logan’s boss Nathan Muir said: “Tom couldn’t be more Northern if he dressed like one of the Tetley Tea folk and had a pet kestrel. I’m surprised he’s even working for a digital marketing firm when he could be ‘down t’pit’.”