Thursday, 13th May 2021

Man who wanted Brexit for Christmas would now prefer socks

A LEAVE voter who repeatedly said that all he wanted for Christmas was Brexit has changed his request to M&S luxury Egyptian cotton socks. 

For reasons he declines to go into, Roy Hobbs has hinted he is open to receiving a more modest gift, such as socks, a selection of real ales or a cordless strimmer instead of total 100 per cent sovereignty.

Hobbs’ wife Sandra said: “It’s a pain in the arse, because I’d assumed Roy’s present was taken care of with Brexit all sorted out. I wonder why he changed his mind?

“It’s a big switch from wanting to leave the world’s largest trading bloc to socks. If all I can get is Wallace and Gromit ones he’s going to have to make do with them.”

Son Gareth Hobbs said: “Dad was mad keen on getting Brexit so this year I just bought him a card. Is he going to change his mind again and ask for baby Yoda? They’re all sold out.”

Roy Hobbs said: “Obviously Brexit is going to be fantastic but I’d like to have another present I can enjoy on Christmas day in case it turns out to be less amazing than advertised.

“The way things are going I’d be happy with travel Scrabble.”