Man with unfashionable front door feared by neighbours

A MAN without a trendy oak panelling front door is a dangerous non-conformist, neighbours believe.

Retail worker Tom Logan has caused concern by having a cheap-looking plastic front door instead of a sleek, sturdy modern one.

Neighbour Donna Sheridan said: “Most people in the street have got a proper light brown oak panelling door, ideally with a vertical silver handle, but Logan thinks he’s different with his shitty white plastic door that looks like it came out of a skip.

“I don’t know what he gets up to in there, probably druggie sex parties where they all wear masks to make it extra-perverted. At least the door will be easy to bash in when the police arrive.

“I just wish a nice family with a normal door would move in, although it’ll be hard to sell the property if there are male prostitutes under all the floorboards.”

Logan said: “Most evenings I just watch telly or use my vast occult library to open portals to evil dimensions.”