Friday, 14th May 2021

Man's DIY to-do list wins award for best fantasy novel

A LIST of DIY jobs written by a Wrexham man has won the Hugo award for Best Fantasy Novel. 

Nathan Muir’s list, which extended to two sides of A4, has been compared to Brave New World in its depiction of an ‘almost unimaginable’ future utopia of order and control.

Judge Susan Traherne said: “It begins slowly, with the close-to-conceivable jobs of ‘put picture up’ and ‘paint chimney breast’.

“But quickly and dizzyingly it spirals into a realm of tasks far beyond what any ordinary man, and especially not a clueless twat like Nathan, could possibly comprehend, like ‘retile bathroom’, ‘replace damp course’ and ‘repoint patio’.

“We’ve seen the lot in this job: alien worlds, AI-based societies, infinite parallel universes, all that shit. But we’ve never seen something that plumbs the depths of human delusion and explores mankind’s unrealistic yet persistent vision of metamorphosis and change. It could never, ever happen.”

Wife Sophie Muir said: “It could scarcely have been less realistic if it had included ‘meet Batman’, ‘learn to fly’ and ‘reverse time’.

“This is a house where we got our screwdriver free in a Christmas cracker and have had the wrong time on the oven clock since 2016 because we don’t know how to change it.”

Nathan is understood to be working on a sequel, ‘Finances’, expected to feature ‘change broadband supplier’ and ‘sort pension’.