Wednesday, 28th October 2020

Man's supportive tweets and posts getting on everyone's tits

A MAN using social media to keep friends and relatives’ spirits up should just f**king stop, everyone has agreed.

Martin Bishop has been using WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter to send out a constant stream of memes, messages and uplifting news stories that are of no practical help whatsoever.

Friend Tom Logan said: “Martin woke me up at 7am with a notification for his WhatsApp message ‘Stay safe everyone!’. Needless to say, he did not specify how.

“All day he’s been astroturfing Facebook with inane crap, such as a video of some puppies in a basket titled ‘This will cheer you up if your low in these Dark Times’. There’s a limit to what puppies can do, and we passed it weeks ago.

“Then on Twitter he insisted everyone stands at their front door on Thursday and claps for NHS staff. Who will even see that? The BBC won’t be coming to the hallway in my nasty block of flats.”

Bishop said: “I feel in my own small way I’m helping people through this upsetting situation using social media. I think I’m going to change my profile picture next. That should get this whole thing over with a little bit quicker.”